Episode 1
Work Life Balance in Real Estate
Jaye Kreller and Cat Moleski of Inhabit Real Estate talk about navigating a work life balance while running a business together.
Monique & Piper learn about the basics of 20 plus years in real estate industry.
Transcript
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::Key peaked interest, k p i, entrepreneurial Insight,
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::L G B T Q editions. Today's guest, Jay Crawler and her wife,
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::Kat Moleski of Inhabit Real Estate in Chapel Hill, North Carolina.
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::Morning.
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::Good morning. Good morning.
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::I feel like I should do a full disclosure.
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::So Jay was my boss at Lady Slipper Music,
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::which was a women's music distribution, uh,
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::company in Durham, North Carolina. Yeah, that was another lifetime ago.
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::Then another lifetime ago,
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::she was a contractor and I worked for her, uh,
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::while I was still a musician on the road too. Whenever I came back to town, I,
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::I'd worked for Jay. So, full disclosure,
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::Jay was a contractor and made so much money doing that
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::thought she'd go into real estate, but,
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::which I think is an interesting also,
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::discussion of switching hats from being a contractor to going
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::into real estate.
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::Well, ironically, it wasn't about the money Piper, you know,
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::I was just getting too old and injured to keep doing what I was doing.
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::So I'm like, there's gotta be an easier way to do this.
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::And since we had been buying houses and flipping 'em, I'm like,
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::maybe I'll just do real estate, so,
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::Right.
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::It was an old and injured thing, so,
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::And Cat worked at Weaver Street Market, and, uh,
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::one of her many hats was hiring musicians.
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::And that's how I met Katt,
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::was I was a musician and she would hire kid sister to come and play.
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::Sometimes we were lucky enough, so, so Kat, so you
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::Knew Cat before I did. Mm-hmm.
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::Yes. Yes, I did. And oh, and so,
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::and then Kat became, um, an artist.
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::And so lots of hats, lots of hat wearing here was the,
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::this thing that I was telling Monique.
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::So that's an introduction and now you're both working together.
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::You are together and, uh, in real estate.
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::And, and I think, you know, sort of counting real estate is,
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::is a different sort of business than like, say us we're in a service business,
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::but at the same time, you're in a service business too. It's totally
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::A service business. Mm-hmm.
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::And you don't really work for yourselves, but you do. So
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::Explain, totally self-employed. Yep.
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::And, and explain a little bit that dynamic,
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::because not everybody understands how that real estate, you know,
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::thing works as far as like an agent, a broker, a, you know,
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::agency or whatever it is that, that you do as a, a realtor.
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::The easiest way to understand it is just to remember that all realtors are
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::self-employed. You know, we're self-employed.
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::We work under the umbrella of a b or a broker in charge,
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::so they're not technically our boss, but they kind of are like,
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::they're the broker in charge of the firm.
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::And you can have 20, 30, 40, 50, 300 agents in a firm.
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::So your interaction with your broker may be never none at all,
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::but it's still your book of business.
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::You're still responsible for your own business and everything else.
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::You're just under the umbrella of a B.
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::North Carolina has made it much easier for people to be what we call one-offs,
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::where they are their own b but they're just one, one firm, like one agent,
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::one firm. Me doing things,
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::I find it easier to work under somebody else's umbrella. So self-employed,
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::but work under the umbrella of someone else.
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::And currently you are, uh, do you wanna mention who your,
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::who your umbrella is under
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::Oh, yeah, no, I'm, I'm happy to mention it.
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::Inhabit Real Estate is a local company in Durham and Chapel Hill currently.
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::Um, and, uh, so it's a small local firm, not one of the national guys,
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::uh, with a really strong community presence, which I'm very, you know,
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::happy about.
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::So, um, I know that you've been realtor for how long?
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::I like a challenge.
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::So I launched my license in October of
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::2001. Wow. Now,
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::what happened in September of 2001, uh, we,
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::we launched the business and of course,
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::real estate went into a free fall because everything was, um,
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::in a little bit of chaos then. So it was a,
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::it was a very challenging first year.
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::And, and then, um, talk a little bit about,
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::and I'm gonna just sort of bring the timeline along, uh,
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::the 2008 banking crisis, how did that affect what you did?
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::And now talk about too where your relationship with you and
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::Kat are as along this timeline. Are you working together then or not? No, no,
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::No, no.
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::Kat and I have actually only started working together in the last two years.
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::So we've, we've had very separate career paths all along. And, uh,
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::Kat coming into the business was a little bit more convenience than
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::desire, correct me if I'm wrong.
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::It was always our backup plan for when Jay's assistant retired.
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::We, we knew at some point her assistant was going to retire, and, and I would,
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::I was gonna then step in and be the assistant.
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::So I got my license six or seven years ago, something like that.
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::And I've just sort of been waiting in the wings for the right time
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::And enjoying life outside of real estate until she absolutely had to come into
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::real estate. Yep.
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::Totally makes sense. But so go back to the 2008,
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::the banking crisis and kind of what happened with your business then. And, um,
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::how did that, how did that impact like home life in, in essence?
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::Uh, well, it didn't impact our home life much at all at that time. Uh, you know,
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::KA Kat and I weren't working together. It was more of a,
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::a stressor for my business. But the reality is,
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::is that the triangle market did incredibly well throughout that period
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::relative to the rest of the country. We didn't have the giant tanking.
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::We did have a drop in property values,
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::but we still had people wanting to be here, and we still had people coming here.
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::So there was still business to be had.
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::You just had to work a little bit harder to get it. And you, and,
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::and we've always been really good about planning for the rainy days and keeping
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::cash reserves. So there was no like, time or crisis point,
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::and there were like, oh my God, we're gonna lose the house,
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::or anything like that, you know,
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::which is something when you're self-employed and everything is based on your
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::ability to produce income and your ability for reasons beyond your control is
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::hampered. But, but we, we did okay through it. And like I said,
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::the triangle did not, I mean, we weren't fire assailing things. Yeah.
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::There were things in foreclosure and, and stuff like that,
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::a higher percentage than usual. Um, but this is what I,
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::I told my clients who were thinking about selling during the downturn.
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::It's like, just wait, just wait. It's going to come back up.
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::And most of them did.
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::So the only people who really lost money here were the people who panic sold or
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::had to sell because they were moving outta market,
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::and there weren't that many of those.
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::Well, that's good news. You know, we, we also, I mean,
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::our business survived that banking, uh, and credit crunch. Uh,
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::it was difficult, um, for us just because we wanted to expand at the time,
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::and it was, we just couldn't yet, uh,
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::credit Yeah. Credit to, to do the things we wanted to. And,
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::and that was kind of a weird thing, right?
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::You had to get real scrappy about what you wanted to do.
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::Did you have the sort of the same thing with the credit crunch and trying to get
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::scrappy?
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::So what happened to us mostly was that we couldn't buy anything.
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::So in addition to like selling real estate, we invest in real estate.
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::So we would pick up rental properties from time to time, things like that. Um,
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::but because my income was down and I already had X
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::number of mortgages and they tightened up all the regulations,
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::my ability to invest in real estate basically got hamstrung.
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::So it's like the, the bank wouldn't give me any more mortgages,
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::even though everything was paid and, you know, everything was current.
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::They were just like, Nope, we're not taking any more risks on these things.
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::So it stopped a certain momentum we had for acquiring properties
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::and building wealth. It just, you know, kind of, kind of nipped that in the bud.
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::I, I hope that we can go into this area where about, oh, wealth.
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::So there are certain levels of women-owned businesses,
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::right? And so, like a massive percentage,
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::like 70 something odd percent don't, uh,
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::exceed $50,000 a year. I know you make more than that.
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::Um, then, then there's another level where it's about, um,
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::250, uh, and below there's like, I don't know,
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::maybe 3%, 3% that make about that much.
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::And then 3% exceed even higher than that,
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::between two 50 and a million.
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::And my guess is you're over the two 50 as far as just raw income.
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::Gross. Yeah. So you're
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::Gross. Yeah, except for, except for a couple of years, a couple of, you know,
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::you always have a challenging year or a down year.
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::We've had a few years where we haven't broken the $250,000 threshold, uh,
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::but by and large, we routinely break that. Um,
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::we don't get much higher than that though. Like, because there's a, there's a,
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::to, to give the level of customer service we need to give,
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::there's a finite amount of business you can actually do.
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::And there are other ways that we could do it.
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::We could bring in help and we could do more things. And, and,
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::and that's what most agents do. They, they, yeah. They, they pyramid it out. It,
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::it is just not been my choice. I, I like the level I work at, and I like
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::the expertise I bring to the table. And you can't just farm that out.
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::Yeah. It's totally, so, so what happens is the, the, the core, you know,
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::value of your business becomes what's in your head, your experience,
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::everything you bring to the table, af after, you know,
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::I happen to know this about you, that you come from a family of, of, uh,
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::people that are capable of swinging a hammer, which I am not.
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::I come quite honestly. Yeah. Yeah.
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::And so, you know, you,
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::you've had this whole life experience through your family and then your own
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::experience as a licensed contractor. And now you're, you know,
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::not only are you a realtor, I know you actually, uh,
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::have a broker's license, right?
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::Yeah. But that's not, it used to be special,
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::but that's not special anymore because in North Carolina,
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::you have to be a broker to sell real estate.
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::So everybody has a broker's license. Ah,
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::So
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::When I started, when I started, there were salesmen and then there were brokers.
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::I see. And if you wanted the, the higher degree of license,
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::you had a broker's license. I, I,
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::I still think we should probably still have that.
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::We should have salespeople and we should have brokers,
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::and they should not be the same.
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::But North Carolina decided to do it differently. Everybody's a broker. Um,
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::but now they've demanded, okay, everybody's a broker,
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::but now they're brokers and brokers in charges,
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::and the brokers in charges are now the old brokers.
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::And so it's a lot of language stuff that just confuses people more
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::Like me.
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::Right. But yes. So back, way back when, when there were salespeople and brokers,
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::yes. I was always a broker. Again,
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::I had my broker's license because if I bought a property,
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::I wanted to be able to buy and sell my, the properties I was flipping. Ah,
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::Right. Okay. So, so what happens is, right, yeah. You become this,
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::you know, this rare small percentage,
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::just like 3% of women owned businesses actually break that, you know,
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::just over two 50, right? Around two 50. So congratulations on that.
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::That is a, you know, 3%, right? That's not a very big,
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::and you probably know,
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::Didn't know that. Didn't know that. Feeling really proud of myself. Now
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::I know, right? It's a big deal. It is a very big deal. And so, um,
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::also, I also, like in our business, you know, the core,
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::you know, we share responsibilities. I'm sure, you know, you guys do too.
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::But ultimately, there's like this technology in my head that if I go away,
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::it's hard to replace. Right?
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::Right, right. There,
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::there are parts of your job that you just can't sub out to someone, you know?
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::And there are parts of my job that I can't sub out to someone. It is not,
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::I will say, like, if,
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::if I did it in a different model where I brought in buyer's agents and I gave
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::them my, because it's the buyers. They take up so much time. You can,
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::you can have an, an unlimited number of listings, because once you,
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::once you get an input, it's, it's front loaded time, but then it just,
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::it's on the market. And then it sells, dah, dah, dah, dah.
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::Buyers are one-on-one out in the field.
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::Our dragging things, you can only work with so many buyers at a time.
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::So the standard model is an agent comes in, they handle all their own listings,
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::but then they have buyer's agents who take the buyers out. So you, you know,
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::they're, you're working,
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::the agents are sharing their commission because they're getting the leads from
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::the, from the main, the breadwinner or the, what is it,
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::the what? Rainmaker. They're getting the leads from the rainmaker. Um,
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::and then going out and, and helping them buy houses.
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::That's not a model that I've been comfortable with.
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::It's not something I wanna do. And so I still do all my own buyers firsthand.
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::Well, that, that's amazing. Uh, you know, it's, it is hard because, you know,
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::should you have to take some time away and,
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::and I'm sure that's where Kat's main job comes in to help bridge
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::those pieces. Right. You know, uh, talk a little bit about, you know,
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::Kat, what it's like to have that, you know,
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::that relationship where you're the second at work,
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::and then sort of what happens at home.
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::Well, let's see. I feel like, um, all my jobs and all my life,
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::I've been always, um, an assistant to a boss or second to a boss, if you will.
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::And I'm really good at that. I feel like I'm, I'm a good second.
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::I'm a good sweeper. I'm a good cleanup person.
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::I can follow along with the details. And I've made my peace with that,
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::if you will.
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::So I feel like I am suited to the position that I am in with, with Jay.
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::And as far as home life, I don't think, I mean, it's not like, I mean,
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::Jay's gonna say something different,
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::but I don't feel like we have much of a hierarchy in our home.
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::I don't feel like I'm the second and she's the first, or I'm the first.
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::And she's just like that. That's not really how we do the home life.
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::It's totally different.
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::You see, and I see the home life as its cat's world, and we just live in it. So
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::I I get it. I get it. I mean, part of it is, it's like, um, you know,
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::the the idea that, you know, you share duties of you're,
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::you're sharing your life. And I get that, you know,
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::there's this dynamic even before, and what's interesting about y'all is that,
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::that, um, you didn't start the business together. And I,
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::I'm finding, I've done some, uh, you know, preliminary interviews of, uh,
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::couples in business and how they, they, they worked.
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::And when I noticed one is at about the seven year mark,
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::they stopped working together. Now we're different.
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::We've been in at it for 20 years. Right. Um,
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::so that's an interesting thing. And, um,
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::the other thing I noticed is, um, there's no formal,
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::that's our 15 minute mark. There's no formal,
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::um, business discussion
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::in the business. Now, you guys are a little bit different, meaning that,
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::you know, I don't, we sit down and think about our own personal goals,
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::but, uh,
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::Having a formal meeting is what you're talking about. Like, because you're, um,
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::available 24 7, pretty much, it's like, I, I,
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::I would imagine you end up discussing business, there is no,
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::you don't have necessarily a formal meeting. But
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::Actually that's
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::Not true. That's not how we do it. That's not how we do
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::It. No. We refrain from talking about business most of the time.
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::And we have what we call, uh, you know,
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::folder meetings in the morning where I bring all the folders,
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::we go through the folders, you know, at least weekly and get everything,
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::all the tasks organized and set up. And then after that, you know,
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::we might touch base throughout the day, but after five o'clock, no,
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::it's not happening
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::Now. I, I don't
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::Go ahead. I
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::Don't stop working at five o'clock. The cat does, does, like,
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::that's part of the deal. Like, you know, she, she's my assistant.
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::She is not the, the rainmaker, so to speak. I have to keep the business going.
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::So yeah, I'll keep working. I'll answer texts, I'll do emails, things like that.
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::I'm showing properties at seven o'clock at night often. Um, you know,
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::we have no social life because my schedule is dependent
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::on when my buyers can see properties so that when can they see
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::properties, they can see properties in the evenings and on the weekends.
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::'cause they have day jobs. So, but that's,
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::that's that necessarily more my problem than cats. So, um,
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::but again, it's, it's being in a job that has a schedule that's a little
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::challenging, but she was used to the schedule for the last 20 some odd years.
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::So getting used to that schedule isn't different. It's just in the daytime.
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::We have more time together now. Mm-hmm.
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::Uh, well that, that's, you know, that's really, uh,
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::amazing because what I did find was that most couples weren't having this.
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::And since I think the difference being that,
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::You mean formality Yeah.
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::This formal sort of business discussion. So that's,
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::that might be a really big key for you guys going forward because
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::you had so many years of having an assistant and having this routine and having
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::this meeting that this allows you to continue, um,
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::you know, whoever the assistant is and happens to be cat and,
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::and you have this capacity to just go ahead and say, well, after five,
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::I no longer need your assistance,
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::and you get released to whatever it is that you're doing at home. Right.
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::But most when you, when
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::You have cat
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::Does are daytime business hour things.
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::They have to happen during business hours. Alright,
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::But when and when you guys, when you, you've had,
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::you had property together and I thought, you know, what, how were the,
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::when you had property together, how were the, uh, jobs divided on that,
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::Just based on skillsets really? So, right.
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::So I managed, like we did divide up the task.
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::Jay was mostly in charge of repairs.
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::I was mostly in charge of finding the tenants and collecting the rents and,
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::and taking care of the leases kind of thing. So that's how we divided it up.
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::And did you have like very defined kind of meetings
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::cutoffs for that?
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::So that was a little bit easier? Yeah, we haven't had an annual meeting, but it,
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::with tenants, you know, you sort of put them in place and if they're good,
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::they run on their own. You don't have to have a lot, you know, my, it would be,
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::um, they would email me about a problem that I couldn't handle,
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::and then I would approach Jay in the morning, you know, uh,
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::not at five o'clock at night, which the tenants love to do. Right.
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::Five o'clock on a Friday, they have a problem
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::Now they've had the problem all week.
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::They just decided to tell us about it at five o'clock on Friday. Yeah,
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::Right. That, yes. I, I imagine that, that that does
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::Happen. And kind of, I mean, I'm just, when I said several hats, katt,
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::when you were an artist, you know, did,
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::did Jay help you with that endeavor?
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::Oh, yes. She helped me a lot in setting up my shows. Like,
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::she carried a lot of stuff. She helped me build canvases,
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::so she helped me with the physical aspects,
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::helped me get set up physically and things like that. So
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::That was great. I don't give her very much art advice.
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::That's just not a good idea. Yeah,
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::I mean, so really you, you've,
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::you've been working together for a very long time. I mean,
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::I know you're saying it's only been two years,
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::but going back to when you started property together,
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::I mean, I don't,
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::We're a good team. We're a good team. We compli,
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::we compliment each other in terms of what we have the patience for and what we
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::don't have the patience for. I don't have the patience for tenants.
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::So if Kat didn't deal with them, they would all be buried in the crawl spaces.
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::So
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::You wouldn't have any, is what I'm hearing.
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::But also what I like to say today is we both have a high tolerance for work.
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::We both like to work, we both, uh, respect work, and we both, um,
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::acknowledge that we like to work. So if Jay's working hard at seven o'clock,
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::I'm not b******g at her that she shouldn't be home watching TV with me or
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::something, you know? And when I'm down in my studio working, Jay's not like,
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::geez, why isn't she doing the dishes? You know,
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::because we have a high tolerance and a high respect for each other's, uh,
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::work ethic.
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::So that's interesting. One of the things that, you know,
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::I think is really valuable is the idea that you're leaning into your strengths
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::and that you have these shared values.
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::Now I'm gonna ask you a question opinion wise.
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::And then the second part of that is giving advice. So first is,
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::um, do you think, um,
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::well maybe I'll just ask the question.
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::What advice would you give a couple contemplating going
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::into business together?
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::I think that a couple, if they're going into business together,
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::they really need to examine a, how they feel about work in general.
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::Do they think work is nine to five and you're done?
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::Or do they think work is a 24 7? That's, those are two different values systems,
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::I think. And also I think they need to talk about like,
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::am I happy taking direction?
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::Am I the kind of person that can take direction or am I the person that needs to
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::be in charge? Because I think if you have two people in charge, it may not work.
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::If you have two people who need direction, that might not work either.
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::Like there has to, I feel like there has to be a driving force. Um, and,
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::and then they have to have a, a, a unified goal. Like if, if,
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::if it's as you are gonna interview later, two musicians,
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::is their shared goal going on the road and touring and putting out records and
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::writing music and doing all of this stuff?
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::Are they into the promotion or is one of them like, whoa,
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::I'd like to write music and be behind the scenes, but I'm not gonna be on stage.
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::I don't know, maybe it works, maybe it doesn't,
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::but you have to be sure that the two together work in harmony,
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::that they're pulling in the same direction.
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::Jay, what kind of advice would you give
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::You? You just, I,
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::it is the same advice I give young couples going into relationships.
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::You've got to find your sense of humor.
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::You have got to learn to laugh at things because if you don't, you're,
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::you toast, you are toast. You have gotta be able to laugh things off.
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::You've gotta,
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::and you also have to really distinguish what's really important and what's just
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::important to you, to you. And Katt, and I have been through this a lot.
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::It's like there are things in our business that are extremely important.
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::These are high risk, high dollar, you know, deals that we're putting together.
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::And if you drop a peg, the deal could fall apart. That's,
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::that's catastrophic to someone. Like, we'll survive it. If we get, don't,
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::if we lose one deal, we'll survive it. But if that person loses that house,
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::they may not get another shot at one if something happens.
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::So we distinguish, Hey,
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::this is important to me because I like my life orderly and I like these things
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::to happen. That's important to me. That,
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::but we both have to be on the same page when something's important to the,
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::to the core of the business. You know,
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::because if we start dropping balls in the business, then people say, oh,
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::you know, they, they screwed up and the deal didn't go through. You know,
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::that's your reputation. That stops further business from coming in,
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::that that clogs up the pipeline. So we,
415
::you distinguish the mistakes you decide which is which of the mistakes are
416
::important and which of the mistakes are just important to you.
417
::They're all still mistakes, they all still need to be talked about,
418
::but you gotta laugh at the ones that are important to you and take seriously the
419
::ones that are important to the business. Right.
420
::Develop your sense of humor and then distinguish what is laughable and what
421
::is serious.
422
::Well, I think those, those are two good pieces, advice.
423
::And so one of the things just a little bit longer, bear with us, and that is,
424
::um, I'm hearing this advice and I know that it's pegged to a story. Um,
425
::and I would love for you to un unpack the idea of,
426
::you know,
427
::in your business you care about who you serve,
428
::and it, it's important that,
429
::that these deals, these pegs don't get dropped.
430
::And it's not a laughable situation. I mean, it, it's okay for you personally,
431
::but the client is the one that,
432
::that is could potentially suffer not just a losing a house,
433
::but something bigger. Talk about that story that you told us about that,
434
::Um, very close friend of Kat's, uh,
435
::trying to buy their first house and I was helping them out and they ended up
436
::needing, they, we, we did find a house that,
437
::that fit her criteria and fit her budget.
438
::And it was a little further outta town, but it worked. And, um,
439
::the issue was that it was a HUD house.
440
::A HUD house requires a special certification on the realtor to have the,
441
::the HUD certification.
442
::The brokerage has to have a HUD certification to sell a HUD house.
443
::Our brokerage didn't have it.
444
::The brokerage I was with at the time didn't have it.
445
::So I could not represent her moving forward.
446
::So I located a local HUD certified agent.
447
::I put her in touch with that agent and let them
448
::do the deal.
449
::Okay. So that's, that,
450
::that relinquished you from the contract that you originally had with that
451
::particular client. Is that correct?
452
::Well, it's a, that's kind of funny that you say that.
453
::I don't actually typically have contracts with my clients. I always say, look,
454
::in the buying process, we're just dating now while we date,
455
::I wanna date exclusively. In other words,
456
::I don't want you calling other agents to show you houses because I don't wanna,
457
::you know, spend weeks educating you, getting you ready, finding the right house.
458
::But the house comes up while I'm out with another client and you just call the
459
::next, you know, jack in the box realtor,
460
::and once you've seen the house with them, they're your agent. So it's like,
461
::while we're dating, we date exclusively,
462
::but when you're ready to write an offer,
463
::I have to have that contract because legally that severs me from any
464
::responsibility to the seller and binds me to the buyer.
465
::So we have to have it then. But at that point, we had just been dating,
466
::so there was no quote unquote contract to let her out of. It was just a,
467
::this is the best course forward for you. This is the right house for you.
468
::I can't help you with it. Here's someone who can. And,
469
::and to me, that's, that's ultimately,
470
::that's the kind of service that we like to do.
471
::It's like we we're successful enough. I don't have to win every deal.
472
::If it's the right thing for the client,
473
::I have no problem passing it off in that situation.
474
::I'll do the same thing on geography. Like if they wanna buy in Raleigh, I uhuh,
475
::I'm not, I, I get lost every time I go to Raleigh. I'm not doing that. So,
476
::but anyway,
477
::what happened with this person was the HUD agent didn't properly
478
::prepare them on what it's like to buy your first home and the mistakes that you
479
::can make. And at that point, I wasn't her agent anymore.
480
::So three days before closing,
481
::her car broke down and she went out and bought a new car. Well,
482
::as you know, when you're getting ready to buy a house,
483
::you can't do something like have a car payment, it will kick your ratios out.
484
::She couldn't qualify for the loan anymore.
485
::So literally a few days before closing, she lost the house. Now,
486
::this was 15 years ago, I think. So, yeah, right around the downturn,
487
::which is why she had this opportunity for this great house. It was,
488
::it was during that 2008 nine meltdown. But she had this opportunity,
489
::she didn't get it. To this day,
490
::she is still renting and that that house has four times the
491
::value of what she was going to buy it for. So that, that is life,
492
::that's a life changing mistake that that agent made
493
::by not coaching her on what she needed to do,
494
::getting ready for closing her life was forever changed by that.
495
::That's the ramifications of not doing our job well.
496
::And I think that really speaks, uh, volumes that after so many years,
497
::this story still sticks with you.
498
::And I think it's probably a big driver for not making those mistakes.
499
::Not making those mistakes, but also even in, in,
500
::in subsequently when I have turned clients over to someone else,
501
::I'm still checking in with them. Now I have trust issues. Now it's like, like,
502
::Hey, did your agent tell you this? Oh, great, great. You know, but it's,
503
::you know, 'cause they're, they're like kids to me sometimes. And I mean,
504
::you know, even the ones that are older than I am, they're like kids to me.
505
::It's like I wanna take care of 'em. So
506
::That's amazing. And I, and I,
507
::one of the reasons why I will not have a different, a realtor in my life.
508
::Do you have anything that you wanna, well,
509
::This is, so one thing I was gonna ask everybody that we interview,
510
::'cause this is an issue in our household and seeing if it's common,
511
::how do you deal with meals?
512
::I do the vast majority of the cooking.
513
::Do you notice the pause in the,
514
::I make sure Jay has food
515
::And it is a scheduling thing. 'cause I'm often working five to seven.
516
::So Kat has to do most of what I call it meal prep, not cooking.
517
::'cause I actually really like to cook. That's kind of one of my joys. And uh,
518
::so on the weekends or when I have a day off or something, I will cook. If
519
::She wants something that tastes good, she's gotta make it.
520
::Otherwise she's getting, uh, you know, carbohydrates and some protein.
521
::I'm alive. You know,
522
::It'll
523
::Always be organic. It will always be, you know, fresh food.
524
::It will never be processed packaged things. We don't do that. But, um,
525
::it,
526
::It may not
527
::Always,
528
::Doesn't always taste good,
529
::Taste great.
530
::So, uh, you know, I get, I get it, you know, sometimes it's like, uh, you know,
531
::we we're just getting through the day sometimes and especially as couples, it,
532
::you know, you guys have an office and we live,
533
::we are living currently in our office. Uh,
534
::so it becomes a weird thing sometimes 'cause we don't get lunch.
535
::You would think it'd be easy, but
536
::No. Well we, we actually, I mean I'm, we do have an office,
537
::but I only use the office to make clients. I work from home.
538
::So we are both working from home all day. Um, and so yeah.
539
::So we'll often convene for lunch or, or something. You know, lunches are easy.
540
::It's dinners that are a little more challenging. Uh, your schedule is so off.
541
::Yeah,
542
::Yeah. There's no set. Hey, you cook, I clean. That kind of stuff.
543
::The rule in the house is whoever cooks the other person cleans whatever happens.
544
::Um, that backfires because I swear to God,
545
::she can dirty five pots making a salad. I don't understand how, but it happens.
546
::Jay loves it. She's the master of the one pot meal.
547
::So there's only one pot to pick up. But I will say this year we,
548
::our level of business was much, much higher.
549
::And I have discovered that at the end of the day,
550
::because I'm working so much more through, because she's working,
551
::she's working so much more. At the end of the day,
552
::I am more tired than I used to be.
553
::And we have started relying on eating out more often or,
554
::or door dashing something. But, um, so far we're doing okay.
555
::Yeah. You know, for two people who'd never door dashed, you know,
556
::for the last year we've door dashed a lot. So,
557
::but I get it.
558
::That's an interesting question. Now that does lead me and I,
559
::I don't wanna take too much time 'cause it's almost 10 o'clock and that is, um,
560
::self-care. Do you have a routine for both of you watching each other? You know,
561
::because, um, it's important.
562
::Well, Kat makes sure that I get my vitamins every morning.
563
::Like I get a little shot glass with my vitamins in it with my coffee.
564
::Like that's, that is, she's awesome about that. Like,
565
::I never have to remember it. You know, I'm having my coffee,
566
::the shock get lasts with vitamins in it appears, you know, so I get that. And
567
::I do think if this goes back to work schedule,
568
::'cause I know that sometimes Jay literally needs to put her phone down,
569
::disconnect and not talk to anybody.
570
::And so I think being able to push all of the questions
571
::into the daytime so that at night I'm not asking her questions about this
572
::file or that file makes it a little easier for me
573
::to say, okay,
574
::at five o'clock we don't have to talk about work unless there's a
575
::fire or a phone call.
576
::And that actually helps Jay to dial it down and
577
::disconnect and recharge. And we also, uh,
578
::plug in a few times a year where we go places where we don't have
579
::internet connection, we don't have cell service,
580
::and we just relax and have fun.
581
::So I think that's how I,
582
::we both look after each other and I look after Jay for myself,
583
::stopping at five o'clock is key as well.
584
::I don't wanna be thinking about work at eight o'clock at night. It's, you know,
585
::I'm tired and I'm gonna make a mistake. And we've talked about that too.
586
::We can't be talking about things at the wrong time because you will make a
587
::mistake. It's better just to, if we can put it off till the morning, you know,
588
::just stop talking, go to bed, wake up and deal with it then.
589
::Yeah. Uh, you know,
590
::98% of the crises that come into my inbox after eight o'clock,
591
::there's zero that I can do about it until the next day anyway.
592
::You know, so turning off my phone at eight is, has become another thing.
593
::It's like I turn off my phone at eight, you know, don't look at my,
594
::I mean, I sometimes, if I've got a deal going, if I've got,
595
::if I've got a negotiation going, we're waiting to hear from something,
596
::I will of course stay tuned. But on a routine thing, yeah,
597
::we turn off the phones at about eight.
598
::I'm glad that you have this idea of, of self-care sort of, uh,
599
::already in the relationship and that you guys are taking care of each other
600
::because that's, that's really, really important.
601
::Um, it's also really important to both of us that we work out, right?
602
::So this is something that we've built into our schedules. Mm-hmm. Like,
603
::I work out during the day because again, I have busy mornings,
604
::I have busy evenings.
605
::So middle of the day I take a break and go work out.
606
::She sometimes comes with me if I'm going to the gym,
607
::but Cat works out every day as well. Mm-hmm. Um, so it, it,
608
::it has helped us that that's part of the self-care we've built into our
609
::schedule. Yeah,
610
::I'm glad to hear that. I'm glad I asked.
611
::That's not something that I would ask as a friend.
612
::You know, you suss it out in between conversations about oh,
613
::what they've been walking, you know, ah, they did this, you know, you, you know.
614
::Um, so we have taken, uh,
615
::a great amount of time and I cannot thank you enough for being willing to
616
::come on and be probed and prodded about what you guys do and
617
::your, your life as a couple in business.
618
::It's a good fit. It's working out really well. It's a good fit. You know, we,
619
::we, we had concerns, you know, 'cause I've had a, an assistant first.
620
::I had an assistant for 17 years who was not Kat.
621
::So Kat had to learn to read my mind in a new way. So,
622
::um, it was just different.
623
::Right. Well, I'd love to continue on 'cause I got a thousand more questions,
624
::but maybe we'll reprise this, uh, in the next, in the new year.
625
::All right. Y'all get on your day.
626
::Glad to have spent some time with you this morning. Alright,
627
::You guys, you guys have a good one. Take care.
628
::Thanks.
629
::Hey y'all. Hi y'all. I'm Piper. I'm Monique.
630
::As a woman and minority owned business,
631
::we're interested in talking to couples that look like us lesbian couples in
632
::a service business. That's why this podcast exists.
633
::I've been looking for a queer business podcast that showcased L G B T Q and Bipo
634
::Owners found the few in each category, but none that mixed the two.
635
::So we created Key Peaked Interest podcast.
636
::This show is looking to honestly connect with other successful L G B T Q
637
::couples in business. We
638
::Hope you enjoyed this episode. We're open to nominations, introductions,
639
::and suggestions for guests.
640
::Hit us up in the comments and thanks for watching and listening.
641
::Thanks.
